There are days when looking out across this water, watching geese, swans, a heron, moorhens and ducks, for hours – seeing how they interact, behave – is enough for me. There are days when I just want to stay here, floating, oblivious to the outside world, cocooned in my own peaceful existence. I read the news and I am left dismayed at the human race. I venture out and see angry faces rushing about and I long to return as quickly as I have left: to the water, to peace.
But then there are days where my heart is fitful, my mind busy and my dreams so much bigger than this small pocket of life. These are the days when I battle with myself, fighting to steady this restless heart. Some days I win. Some days I close my eyes, tip my face towards the sun, listen to the birds as they begin their journey into Spring and realise how lucky I am to have found this space, this time. But some days the longing is just too much; to reach out and touch a different night sky, to run my fingers through a different grass, to feel the heartbeat of another land. This is my restless travelling self and she cannot be ignored, no matter how hard I try.
It seems that time has come again, a time where I must be brave and venture out to new pastures for a while and although at times I feel fearful, I comfort myself that this is all the same earth and wherever I may be, I am still always where I was. I remind myself that it’s OK to not be static, to not know where you might be in five years, ten years, twenty years. For life is short, and it should be beautiful, and we must each live it in the best way we know how, never failing to see that beauty.
And this is my way.
In a few weeks I will go to meet others enjoying their own small pockets of space on this earth, to a place I hope will nourish my travelling hunger and yet keep me close to what I know. I wonder; how long will I stay? I wonder; will the water call me home? Of course it will, eventually, but for a while I am just looking forward to a new adventure volunteering on a beautiful farm in the mountains of Italy.